


fireflies at dusk (you're the one i trust)

by sunflower_8



Series: they'll build their own world with the strings of love [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Crying, Dissociation, Grounding techniques, I Googled Rhymes For That, I PROMISE IT'S KINDA FLUFFY, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Depression, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Poetic Garbage, but most importantly, he got ko-yee-chi's bacc, lots of hugs, sushi attacc, sushi protecc, two soft bois
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 07:45:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19741270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_8/pseuds/sunflower_8
Summary: more than lovers





	fireflies at dusk (you're the one i trust)

it is around the time where fireflies float around rusty red street signs, and overgrown trees cast long shadows against the grass. the moon is already in the sky, shining a gentle light over the otherwise dim clearing. everyone in the small town already had already fallen asleep, except for two figures standing in the darkness.

their meetings weren’t a secret, really. they had told their friends (rather, one of them had) that they meet up at late hours to spend time together. some assume the meetings are for frowned-upon activities, but that is never the case. rather, they find shelter in the night and each other; one of them has shitty parents, and the other always feels alone

it’s the elusiveness of the former and the protectiveness of the latter that leads to the rendezvous. so, as the day comes to a close and past pain intertwines with the air, kokichi ouma and shuichi saihara envelop their arms around each other.

“shuichi! i haven’t seen you in so long!”

“it’s been only a few hours, kokichi. school, remember?”

kokichi giggles and lets go, “nishishi, you caught me! i was lying.”

“you usually are,” it is an endearing quality. it is to shuichi, anyway. the consistent lying is only a shield for kokichi, and shuichi understands that. he always understands. he always tries, at the least.

that is all kokichi wants, but rarely admits. he just wants someone to try.

“i’m proud of you, y’know?” shuichi says quietly.

“for what? for the cult i started?”

“is this the cult of assassins you mentioned earlier, or the vampires?” a small smile graces shuichi’s face as he runs his hand through kokichi’s purple hair.

kokichi rolls his eyes, “it’s the cannibals! i can’t believe you forgot.” 

“sorry.”

“you better be! that’s a lie, don’t apologize,” shuichi notices the panic in kokichi’s voice, but decides not to point it out. instead, he gives him a comforting smile, allowing the other to continue.

“what were you even talking about again? it was supppperrrr boring i think.”

“i was just saying i was proud of you. y’know, for showing up at school this past week.”

for a second, kokichi’s face is blank with shock, “oh.”

in the past year, kokichi has only attended school a handful of times. whenever shuichi asked him where he went during the day, he made up some ridiculous lie, so shuichi never got an answer. after a few conversations, however, kokichi started coming back to school again. he practically clings to shuichi’s side, but he’s  _ there _ and shuichi is so proud of that.

as always, kokichi’s face reverts back to his mask, “i’ve been at school, you just haven’t seen me! there’s always teachers to blackmail and time to wreak havoc.”

“oh, of course.”

there is silence following shuichi’s remark. kokichi grabs shuichi’s hand to fiddle with his fingers; a habit he has, but never explains. shuichi lets him, and takes the quiet time to look at kokichi.

the two of them never defined who they are to each other, but it is relatively clear that the two of them have become the most important people in each others lives. “dating” is an oversimplification.

kokichi is the light of shuichi’s life. it sounds cheesy, but it’s true. every day of shuichi saihara’s existence is monotonous, repetitive, and always soaked in depression and heaviness. despite the darkness the two are standing in that evening, kokichi is so, so bright. 

to kokichi, shuichi is his stability. while he floats in lies and holds a mask up to his face, shuichi reminds him that he is real. when he dissociates, shuichi brings him back to the real world and protects him. no matter what kokichi does, shuichi is always there. 

the two of them know that kokichi isn’t fond of the term “lover”. his parents are lovers, after all, and kokichi sees first-hand that the bond formed is not permanent. so shuichi and kokichi can’t be lovers. soulmates, perhaps. a term not bound to a ring or short-lived infatuation.

as kokichi fiddles with shuichi’s fingers in long silence, a question is presented, “kokichi?”

“yes?” 

“how’s everything at home?”

there is deafening silence. shuichi gently places one hand on kokichi’s cheek, “kokichi?”

kokichi shakes his head, festering shuichi’s anxiety, “kokichi?”

it takes a few seconds, but, “...shuichi?” his voice is spacy, and his lilac eyes are empty. he blinks rapidly, looking around as if he had forgotten he was there. kokichi was most likely lost in a memory. shuichi sighs gently, giving the other a gentle smile. he squeezes kokichi’s hand, small and pale, and begins the grounding process.

“what are five things you see?”

“...you… uhm, fireflies…”

“good. can you name three other things?”

“your hair, that tree, and umm ...your hands?”

“okay, four things you can touch?”

“your fingers,” he gives them a squeeze, “your hair, the grass, your face?”

“good job! three things you-”

“i’m…” kokichi’s voice comes out strangled, and his face is rid of anything to hide the tears forming in his eyes, “i’m here now, shuichi. i’m…”

“are you sure?” shuichi hesitates, feeling horrible for bringing the topic up, “we can keep-”

“can you just hold me? please?” 

shuichi doesn’t say anything, and wraps his arms around kokichi. he is shaking, and his tears drop onto shuichi’s shirt. most of the time, kokichi would never let himself be this vulnerable. he would hold in the tears, or make a stupid joke, or laugh it off. but one of kokichi’s hands grabs shuichi’s, and cautiously leads it to the bottom of his shirt. when he pulls it up, shuichi can see a dark bruise that explains his breakdown.

“oh god,” shuichi feels every emotion hit him at once: guilt, sadness, rage. “that bastard! shit, kokichi, i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.”

shuichi hears a soft sob from kokichi, calming his own panic to comfort him, “okay, repeat after me. you are safe.”

“i-i’m safe.”

“i’m going to protect you.”

“you’re going to protect-” his voice is cut off with another sob.

“everything will be okay.”

he shakes his head. “...i’m scared.”

“i know. everything will be okay.”

“e-everything will be o-okay.”

“i love you.”

“s-so does my dad, and he…”

“i’m here for you.”

“...thank you.”

the night fills with the sobs of a boy too broken, held in the arms of his guardian angel. Neither of them knows how long kokichi cried or what had really happened earlier that day, but eventually, the chorus of suffering reaches its last verse.

still in shuichi’s embrace, kokichi says in a worn out voice, “t-that was all a lie! did you actually think i would cry over something that silly? a supreme overlord like myself could never!”

the other laughs, burying his face into kokichi’s soft hair as the liar continues, “y’know, my hair is only so fluffy because i wash it daily in the blood of my enemies! you probably shouldn’t put your face in it, though! or maybe that’s a lie, and i don’t wash it at all!”

“the world will never know,” shuichi releases his hold on kokichi and checks his watch, “it’s getting a bit late. you… you should really get some rest. it’s been a hard night.”

“can,” kokichi swallows, the mask coming down as quickly as it appeared, “can you stay? just for five more minutes?”

“of course.”

shuichi and kokichi are both broken; there is nothing romantic about that. their lives are synonymous with the struggles both have. still, every night, they find each other. whether they are best friends, lovers, or more, they feel the world melt away as gentle words escape their lips.

shuichi feels kokichi grab his hand again, and he smiles. kokichi’s eyes meet his, and the grin on his face is genuine. he stands on his toes and kisses shuichi on the cheek, whispering, “thank you.”

and that was enough for the two of them.

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to today's episode of "i can't write a character to save my life".  
> this week we got,,,, koKICHI
> 
> so idk where this idea came from?? i saw a stop sign and the red color was interesting and it was aesthetic and i somehow turned that into this.
> 
> okay something more comprehensible and important: i really hope that none of this was romanticized. the abuse that kokichi goes through is NOT beautiful, or cutesy, or quirky. it's stuff that fucks him up, and it's NOT pretty or aesthetic. i'm always scared when i write stuff like this that i'll romanticize the issues i write, namely because i write some vent-y pieces, and i kinda write in a slightly poetic way? 
> 
> but my point is, NONE OF THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. shuichi's love isn't going to save kokichi, it's going to take a lot more than that, but it helps him and it gives him some comfort when he needs it. shuichi doesn't love kokichi for the abuse he goes through, shuichi loves kokichi as a PERSON. because a person is NOT their pain. 
> 
> that is all. 
> 
> idk if i did a good job on this, so sorry for that.
> 
> leave comments please, they feed me. requests, parts you liked, critiques, anything!
> 
> have a nice day!


End file.
